New Year’s day always feels so bright and fresh and new like the pink scar flesh under a scab. There is nothing but possibility and promise in a new year, a fact many cash in on with endless lists of New Year’s Resolutions meant to shape you into someone better, because there is no better time than the advent of another year to finally start making yourself into the person you always wanted to be. Unfortunately, according to an article by U.S. News, 80% of all New Year’s resolutions will fail by the second week of February. That’s… a staggering amount of failure. And starting off a year feeling dejected about the resolutions that could have been but never were is a great way to begin things on the wrong foot.

But why do we fail at resolutions? Why do resolutions make us feel so bad? Our lofty goals of saving a certain amount of money, or losing a certain amount of weight (the most popular resolutions after the excessive indulgence of the holiday season) can seem overwhelming, leading us to consciously or subconsciously give up before we even try. That’s because we try to change our behaviors on a dime without changing what really matters first- the thing at the core of it all- our mentality, our attitude, our outlook. Failure or feelings of dejection are inevitable if we don’t start small and figure out how to change the way we change ourselves.

Writing down a list of goals can seem like the first step to making improvements in your life, but it really isn’t a requirement for cultivating a meaningful, positive experience for your 2019. All you need for that is an adjustment in your own inner vision.

I’ve lived a life of pessimism and creating distant objectives for myself like “lose 20 pounds” or “get a book published” that do nothing for my self-worth but degrade it. And in the age of social media, where everyone’s best moments and personal triumphs are plastered across 5 different mediums, what you see as your own personal failures begin to feel monumental. This is where the change in perspective comes in, something that I’ve chosen to embrace for myself in the coming months because I’m tired of living in a swirling miasma of negativity. The first thing you have to do is quit seeing anything as a failure. While some things may not go according to plan, “failure” is a reality of life and only serves to improve you as you move along. Every “failure” is a triumph in disguise, even if that triumph is small. For example, if your goal was to find a better job, but none of your interviews panned out, you still triumphed because each interview you had was practice for the next. Just re-framing your thoughts like this can do wonders to improve your confidence and overall mood.

Another way to ensure a productive and successful new year is to start small. Resolutions like mine have been in the past seem so impossible because there is no clear pathway to achieving them. Small, bite-sized goals like “I’m going to make my bed every morning” are much more easily achieved and will lead to a positive, uplifting attitude that will make achieving larger, more challenging goals seem more realistic because successfully achieving goals, no matter how small, will cultivate higher confidence. It also helps to split up these tougher resolutions into smaller bits. Like, if your goal is to save more money, put into place a simple, achievable monthly plan like “I will save $200 from every paycheck.” You would be surprised how much this helps!

While goal-setting can be an important part of reaching where we would like to be in our lives, it isn’t necessary for self-improvement. In the past couple of months, I decided to stop pressuring myself too much, and to appreciate myself for what I am and what I’ve already achieved. While I didn’t lose the weight I wanted, my body is healthy and works so hard at carrying me through life, something I fail to recognize. While I didn’t write enough articles one week, that’s alright, time moves ever-forward and I have an opportunity to do better next week. Improvement isn’t instantaneous and doesn’t always have to be obvious. Like I said before, a simple change in outlook can make you feel like a new person, no resolutions required.