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In our culture obsessed with dieting and weight loss and flat abs and perfect skin and big butts and hairlessness and cellulite and and and….. the pressure to maintain a perfect image that fits society’s impossible expectations is immense. Immense is an understatement. From childhood onward, we are all inundated with images of perfect people that don’t even exist. Although there has been a movement to end the extreme editing of images presented to us in the media, the editing is still there, making the people we look up to into beacons of unattainable beauty.

Society is gravely affected by this. And young, impressionable girls, I think, are hit hardest of all. We’re taught to love ourselves, but then shown a million ways to improve ourselves. Who do we believe? And in the age of social media, where everyone presents only the best aspects of their lives, we believe everyone is more beautiful and more happy than we are.

Where do I fit in? I was not immune to the self-esteem sabotage. Especially since I had an interest in fashion, I was surrounded by images of rail-thin women in elegant clothes and makeup. Naturally, I thought it was possible for my body to look like that. I thought that was the peak of beauty. I thought I could never be taken seriously in the industry with the muscular body type I was given. So, I developed an unhealthy relationship with food.

This was what my body looked like in high school, when my body image issues were at their worst. I really thought I was fat. I would obsessively exercise for hours every night. I would eat one pudding cup for lunch and force myself to take forever to eat it, so it seemed like more food. I really thought I was fat. All I can do now is laugh at how stupid I was.

Before that point, I was a competitive swimmer and spent upwards of four hours every day in the pool. This is hard on the body and requires a lot of fuel. This also builds a lot of muscle. Muscular women are not attractive, according to society. My brother told me that no man would ever love me because I was so muscular and had no curves at all. When I quit swimming, my curves came in hard and fast and I was left feeling like a stretch mark-marred whale. I had nobody to tell me that it was okay to gain weight. In fact, the girls I was surrounded by were just as obsessed as I was with obtaining that desirable body.

I’m happy to say that I am not like that anymore. I have gained an appreciation and a respect for my body and all that it does every day. If my body isn’t strong, I’m not strong. But it isn’t easy to believe these things. It’s especially hard for me to accept the fact that I’ve gained 10-12 pounds since high school. I always think it’s because I’m not taking care of myself, or that I’m eating in excess. But that’s not always true. Our bodies change. Our metabolisms slow. They really make us believe these things are completely in our control, when that’s not always the case.

I do think that the fashion industry has some responsibility to change the way bodies are portrayed in the media. Cast women with realistic bodies. Avoid enforcing industry-wide standards that encourage models to engage in unhealthy eating and exercise behaviors. Stop treating models as hangers for the clothes, which not only creates an unrealistic expectation of what bodies should look like in clothes, but also objectifies and dehumanizes the women wearing them.

What have you experienced in terms of body image and self-esteem? I am optimistic that things are changing. Slowly, but they are.

I was an “A Star Is Born” virgin, meaning I had never seen any of the previous three versions of the film that have been circulating through our culture since the 1930s. While this means I got to experience the film with fresh perspective, it also means I was entirely unprepared for the emotional warfare that this movie thrusts you right into the middle of. It was fantastic. It was ugly. It was incredible. It was despicable. And the music was pretty good, too. This is a review of the Bradly Cooper-directed “A Star Is Born.”

If you live under a rock, and have no idea what this movie is about, it is essentially the story of how a famous musician, whose career is on the outs, meets and falls in love with a nobody that was gifted vocal cords from the gods. He takes her on tour and her talent gets her noticed, launching her into a music career of her own. As she gains popularity, his continues to wane and he spirals into destructive habits, putting a lot of strain on their budding relationship. Now that you know what it’s all about, let me tell you what I think.

lady gaga as ally in a star is born 2018
Lady Gaga lends her incredible musical talent to the film, contributing to a dynamite soundtrack.

To start off this review, let me give you all a little context for my opinions. I am a HUGE Lady Gaga fan- and that’s an understatement. I recently dropped $330 on a ticket to see her at her upcoming residency in Las Vegas, and that doesn’t even include the cost of travel and living accommodations. So, in short, I was really excited to see this movie, if not to see Lady Gaga star in a major motion picture, then to at least hear her sing. I was impressed on both fronts.

Without spoiling any of the details of the plot, here is my brief review:

Wow! I was honestly blown away by how effective the storytelling was. Going into it, I thought it was going to be a super cliche storyline, one we’ve all seen before. Famous guy meets not famous girl, pulls him into his famous lifestyle and it turns out fame isn’t as great as everyone thinks and the couple ends up going their separate ways after drinking a lot and doing a lot of drugs. THAT IS NOT THIS STORY. I know I’m late to the party for this, so many of you probably already know how it goes, but I thought the story went somewhere totally unexpected. I honestly couldn’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the day, which I think is one of the true marks of a compelling story.

To speak on the acting: I was pleasantly surprised by Gaga. I know she can sing, and her soaring vocals were a pleasure to listen to, but I wasn’t sure how good she would be, despite the fact that she previously won a Golden Globe for her performance in American Horror Story. That being said, her acting paled in comparison to Bradley Cooper’s excellent performance, and there were a few scenes where I thought her performance lacked authenticity. Bradley Cooper was incredible. If he didn’t look like Bradley Cooper, I wouldn’t have even known it was him. His voice and mannerisms were completely transformed, which was refreshing, because I feel like he is often cast in similar roles. He also directed this film, which is a true testament to his passion and talent because it was a tumultuous journey that made an emotional impact. I really cared about Ally and Jackson, so much that they almost felt real.

bradley cooper as jackson maine in a star is born 2018
The moment Jackson meets (and falls for) the movie’s ingenue, Ally, as she sings “La Vie En Rose” at a drag bar.

To get into the nitty gritty (which means if you haven’t seen the movie- STOP READING NOW!), there are a few details of the story that I particularly appreciated that I feel differentiated this movie from a lot of others with similar storylines:

  1. Jackson Maine is an alcoholic. This often means there will be some kind of abuse or emotional neglect on his part, but that never happens in this film. Both of them continue to love each other through the depths of his illness, which is both heartwarming and unexpected.

  2. Ally still loves Jackson through it all. The main crux of this story is that while Ally continues to accumulate more fame and recognition, Jackson’s life falls apart. His drug problems get out of control and he becomes a washed-up nobody in a matter of months (or it seems that way- time progression in this film wasn’t too clear). Yet, despite the fact that Jackson makes a complete fool of Ally while she accepts her Grammy award, he was always her priority. She was even willing to cancel her tour to stay home and help him recover. 

  3. Fame isn’t glamorized. The story is told from a perspective that stays very close to the main characters, so we never really see how much fame and recognition Ally or Jackson really have, save for a few fan interactions with Jackson at the start of the film. This makes it so that we can continue to see the main characters in the same light, despite the fact that their fame fluctuates wildly throughout the plot. I even came away with the impression that Ally probably would have been happier if she had never been discovered, as her rise to fame and relationship with Jackson brought her a lot of strife and emotional pain.

  4. Ally’s story mirrors Gaga’s own rise to fame. When we meet Ally, she works as a waitress and performs at bars in her free time. Gaga began her career playing shows in bars all over New York City. We also see Ally abandon her more soulful, meaningful singing and songwriting for a career as a pop star with backup dancers and songs that talk about how good someone’s ass looks in their jeans. A producer even recommends that she bleach her hair for a more distinctive look. These are all things Gaga, too, had to do to begin her successful musical career, and now that she’s made it big, she can actually create the kind of art that she wants (hello Joanne). 

Overall, I LOVED this movie because of how unique and emotional the story was, how authentic the characters were, and how much passion everyone had for the project. You could really tell that Gaga and Bradley Cooper put so much love and energy into the film, which definitely translates on screen, and I think it deserves all of the praise that it’s getting. If you haven’t already seen this version of “A Star Is Born,” I would highly recommend it. The music alone makes it all worth it.